Lifestyle/ Photography


When you just can’t deal…

I gave up my control. I’ve let life just happen. I’ve sat back and allowed co-pilots to steer me. This sounds great, right? Just sitting back and relaxing. Let me tell you, it hasn’t been great. For the past few weeks, I have done the minimum. I go to school, I go to work, I sleep, I eat, and I repeat this process every day. I’m doing the minimum, but I still feel like there’s not enough time in the day. There was a time when I wanted to do everything. And I basically did ‘do everything’. I over programmed myself. I became so involved in everything else, that I forgot to rest. Everything caught up to me and I slammed into a wall. Not hit, SLAMMED.

~ excerpt from last week ~

Last week I only got out of bed to go to school and work. I wasn’t sick, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything creative or fun. I wasn’t sad or depressed, I was literally exhausted.

I don’t really know what my purpose is with writing this. But I know I can’t be the only person experiencing something like this. Everyone talks about how important self-care is, but sometimes even self-care activities are too overwhelming. The only thing that helped me was just allowing myself to rest. Side note – I work overnight, so it’s very possible I was experiencing sleep deprivation.

Being on auto pilot isn’t a 100% negative experience. I was able to be productive, while only doing the necessities. This is no way to live all the time but if you are going through a stressful period, it can be beneficial to be on “auto pilot”. Also, you don’t need to diagnose yourself. It is normal to be overwhelmed and over programmed. We live in a competitive society where people are expected to do it all. Just lay in bed, it’s going to be okay! I hope this helped in some way. Let me know if you have had similar experiences. I feel like this feeling is very common among college students.

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  • Reply
    April 30, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    I’m in college too, and I’ve been feeling similar for at least a month. It’s like I’m running in place-no progress. Thanks for helping me feel a little less alone. Good-luck!

    • Reply
      April 30, 2018 at 8:53 pm

      Thank you for commenting! College is tough and you are definitely not alone!

  • Reply
    May 1, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    I feel that way too sometimes. Auto-pilot can be a self protection mode for those times when you can’t take on any more. I find that my moods and energy ebb and flow. It can be hard to find that “balance.”

    • Reply
      May 1, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      I agree with you! It’s really hard to find a good in between. Thanks for commenting!

  • Reply
    May 1, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    This was good to hear! I know I couldn’t be the only one. I actually just wrote a post on this same type of thing! I wish you all the best!

    • Reply
      May 1, 2018 at 4:48 pm

      I’m glad this post could help! I think it can be a common feeling. Thanks for commenting!

  • Reply
    May 2, 2018 at 12:05 am

    Yea definitely go through phases of this….do everything mentality and then being entirely depleted…

  • Reply
    May 2, 2018 at 6:08 am

    I am not in college but I can identify. it can be a good thing to be on auto pilot but at times it can be frustrating knowing there is more to be done. It’s just getting to know when to push and when to “cruise”.
    Great post.

    • Reply
      May 2, 2018 at 4:05 pm

      Thanks for commenting and I totally agree!

  • Reply
    May 3, 2018 at 7:15 am

    Oh hun believe me you’re not the only one going through this…I’ve been on autopilot for about a month now, it’s not fun, but push through. You’ll get through it and start enjoying life again soon 💖

    • Reply
      May 3, 2018 at 10:22 am

      Thank you 💕

  • Reply
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