When you just can’t deal…

I gave up my control. I’ve let life just happen. I’ve sat back and allowed co-pilots to steer me. This sounds great, right? Just sitting back and relaxing. Let me tell you, it hasn’t been great. For the past few weeks, I have done the minimum. I go to school, I go to work, I sleep, I eat, and I repeat this process every day. I’m doing the minimum, but I still feel like there’s not enough time in the day. There was a time when I wanted to do everything. And I basically did ‘do everything’. I over programmed myself. I became so involved in everything else, that I forgot to rest. Everything caught up to me and I slammed into a wall. Not hit, SLAMMED.

~ excerpt from last week ~

Last week I only got out of bed to go to school and work. I wasn’t sick, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything creative or fun. I wasn’t sad or depressed, I was literally exhausted.

I don’t really know what my purpose is with writing this. But I know I can’t be the only person experiencing something like this. Everyone talks about how important self-care is, but sometimes even self-care activities are too overwhelming. The only thing that helped me was just allowing myself to rest. Side note – I work overnight, so it’s very possible I was experiencing sleep deprivation.

Being on auto pilot isn’t a 100% negative experience. I was able to be productive, while only doing the necessities. This is no way to live all the time but if you are going through a stressful period, it can be beneficial to be on “auto pilot”. Also, you don’t need to diagnose yourself. It is normal to be overwhelmed and over programmed. We live in a competitive society where people are expected to do it all. Just lay in bed, it’s going to be okay! I hope this helped in some way. Let me know if you have had similar experiences. I feel like this feeling is very common among college students.

~ All photos are taken by me unless stated otherwise. If you want to use a photo, please credit me. This post is NOT sponsored.


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12 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Heyo,
    I’m in college too, and I’ve been feeling similar for at least a month. It’s like I’m running in place-no progress. Thanks for helping me feel a little less alone. Good-luck!

  2. I feel that way too sometimes. Auto-pilot can be a self protection mode for those times when you can’t take on any more. I find that my moods and energy ebb and flow. It can be hard to find that “balance.”

  3. I am not in college but I can identify. it can be a good thing to be on auto pilot but at times it can be frustrating knowing there is more to be done. It’s just getting to know when to push and when to “cruise”.
    Great post.

  4. Oh hun believe me you’re not the only one going through this…I’ve been on autopilot for about a month now, it’s not fun, but push through. You’ll get through it and start enjoying life again soon 💖

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