Takers // Coffee Chats

Welcome to my new series! I always see YouTubers do these posts where they eat/drink and talk about a topic. So I thought I would do that in a written format. Grab some coffee, tea, or whatever you want and join me in this discussion (only if you want to of course).

I want to talk about selfishness today. Everyone is a little selfish at times. But I’ve been really frustrated because I feel like I am surrounded by takers. People that are only around you when they want someone. They take, take, and take until you just feel exhausted. They don’t think of how their actions affects you or others.

It’s partly my fault because I am always willing to help friends and I am generous with my time. This attracts selfish people and they assume I am unaware that they are using me. I am aware, I just don’t know how to deal with them. I honestly just don’t understand how people can only do things out of self-interest. I am in no way a selfless person, but my interactions with people are genuine. I don’t expect people to constantly tell me “good job” but I would like to be appreciated, especially if I am going out of my way.

It helps to be firm with “takers”. You can be nice and still draw boundaries. How do you deal with this? Tell me in the comments your thoughts. I used to do a lot of posts like this, but I have been focusing more on recipes and photography. Anyway, I am going to try to do these coffee chats at least once a month. That’s really all I have to say…thanks for reading!

*Just so you know: all photos taken by me (unless stated otherwise), if you want to use them please credit me. Thanks for visiting my blog! This post is NOT sponsored, however I am affiliated with iHerb and Amazon and I do earn a small commission if you decide to use my links.


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  • Reply
    Jess | Live Your Life
    October 7, 2018 at 2:34 am

    I get what you mean. It sucks to be taken advantage of when we are only trying to be nice and mindful of others’ needs.

    These “takers” will always come back for more, simply because we are the easier option.

    I have always been quite a “people pleaser”, until I realised that I cannot make others happy if I’m not happy myself. I find that what works best for me (I too struggle to say no) is to let the person know that I’m occupied at the moment, but if he/she needs my help later, I’ll be able to help after I’m done. Usually they would’ve gone away by then. 🙂

  • Reply
    October 7, 2018 at 3:12 am

    I think it is about figuring out what is right for you to give and what you want to get back. It is about getting the balance as there will be times when you feel like you are just giving all the time but then others when you are like actually I want this person to be there for me but I don’t have it in me to give anything back at the moment but that is okay.

    • Reply
      Kaley | AuthenticallyVegan
      October 7, 2018 at 3:15 am

      Those are good points. Ideally, it should be a balance so you don’t feel empty and it is okay to rely on others sometimes too. Thanks for commenting!

  • Reply
    Florida Fruit Geek
    October 7, 2018 at 7:26 am

    I really like your idea of taking concepts from Youtube, and applying them to the blogging realm. Video is good for a lot of things, but textual communication has a lot of its own great features too. And wonderful use of the coffee cup/sunbeam image to set the tone!

  • Reply
    October 7, 2018 at 10:53 am

    I feel your pain. I am right there with you. I get taken advantage of a lot too, because like you, I am a giver and a nurturer as well. I don’t ask for much from people, and I rarely ask for help, but on those rare occasions when I do, very few people are there for me like I am for them. It is very frustrating indeed. But if you dwell on it too much, it will make you bitter and it will change who you are. Just keep being you and good things will happen. You will see who your real friends are.

    • Reply
      Kaley | AuthenticallyVegan
      October 7, 2018 at 1:40 pm

      Thank you for commenting! I agree, it’s super frustrating and I try not to think about it because how other people act is out of my control.

      • Reply
        October 7, 2018 at 6:28 pm

        Yep! All you can do is do your best. Don’t worry about the rest. 🙂

  • Reply
    the island vegan
    October 7, 2018 at 8:22 pm

    I tend to feel like I am in the same situation. I like to give and be there for people but feel so rejected when they don’t do the same. I do try and set boundaries but it doesn’t change how hurt I feel.

    • Reply
      Kaley | AuthenticallyVegan
      October 7, 2018 at 9:28 pm

      I understand how you feel! It can be hard when people don’t realize how much you do or don’t show appreciation. Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    October in Review – Authentically Vegan
    November 7, 2018 at 11:04 pm

    […] Takers // Coffee Chats […]

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